Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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