cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
