I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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