the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
