everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
