Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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