What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
