did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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