Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
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