this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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