I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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