Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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