So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
