i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
