Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize