My brain says no but my pants say off.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
