cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
