I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
