I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
