How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So much Jack, so little girl.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
