Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
