I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
did i just pee glitter
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
