There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
