Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
