The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
