Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
