So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize