You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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