Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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