sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
