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Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
