I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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