I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
