ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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