if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
