There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
