If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
