i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
