I want to have your abortion
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
