So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
