He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
