Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
