Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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