Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
