no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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