i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
