I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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