About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
