singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize