He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize