ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
