Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
