I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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