Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
