the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Randomize
