Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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