There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
