She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
is it fun? or sober?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
