Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
