this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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