masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
3pm strippers are depressing
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
