People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
