Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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