please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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