I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
