the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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