I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
