I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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