when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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